Dear God,

I am, as you know, a lover of man and beast (No! No. Nononono, not in that way, I just mean that I have a dog, so there’s no need for you to pick up your Oh Omnipotent One-sized cereal spoon* and smite me with it.) Now, while I’m all for toys and gadgets that make one’s life as a pet owner easier, there is such a thing as Going. Too. Far.